Auto Trickshaw walas (A little Gist on how most Mumbai rickshaw wala's are)

An Auto-rickshaw. Photo Courtesy: Mihir Amrite

I. What they say and what they really mean?

1. Kidher Jaoge boss? (I'l take you wherever I want to)
2. Aapko ek short cut se leke jaata hu! (Brace yourself for a Mumbai Darshan!)
3. Chutta nai hai bhai ( I have all the change I want in the world,but I don't want to give it to you)

II. Types of Rickshaw walas : 

1. The Dude- The guy with the napkin on the back of his neck, usually he's the smart guy and talks a lot about himself. Likes to proclaim himself as the smart one amongst the many other drivers.
2. The Oldie- We all have come across this one, they are the whining types or the silent types. The whining ones will complain about almost anything that moves on the road,life is never happy for them,the silent ones on the other hand will drop u where you want to go and leave,simple and clear.
3. The eve teasers- Women beware! These vultures will rape you just with their eyes. They are set more on the rear view mirror than on the road. Avoid interacting which these ones as much as you can.
4. The Pakao guy- I hate such drivers. They just wont stop talking! Just go on and on about senseless stuff and hope that you are listening while in reality all you are doing is "hmm" and chatting on your mobile.
5. The Cheat/Tamperer- A few rick guys who still have the old meters in  their vehicles tamper with it. Prepare yourself to donate your wallet to these guys. Their meter will probably charge u 30 % more easily and loot you. Choose a rick with electronic meter if u can.

III. Situations You might have come across:

1. Me- Bhaiya U-turn Lena

    R(Rick guy)- Nai hume seedhe jana hai aap idher hi utar jao

    *This is followed by a brief argument between You and the driver, depending on how persuasive you are,either you get that U-turn,or you get down on the side.

2. Me- Bhaiya subeh ka time hai 4 log ko lelo na hume late ho raha hai.

    R- Nai jaenge,khali 3 log ko leke jaaunga. Subeh subeh Havaldar hota hai signal pe

    Me-Bhaiya 10rs jyada lelo lekin leke chalo

    *suddenly at the mention of extra cash the driver lights up and agrees to take us,weirdly 10rs really takes you a long way in mumbai.

3. *We sit in the rick. Me: chalo bhaiya parla

    Rick- Nahi chalenge "gas" nai hai/ Nahi chalenge bahut traffic hai

    Me- Abe toh tu bol kidher chalega? Dubai? police station?

IV. How to meter them down?

1. Carry a lot of change with you always

2. Learn powers of persuasion to fight this guys

3. Lie about some random place and take him to the place you actually want to go.

4. This is the best I can give u, travel by bus.